Need to Lose the Lard!

LosetheLard

Location: NYC
Height: 5'7"
GW: 145
Lost: 0
Need to lose:50

Thanks to mhray for setting up this blog. I'm hoping it will be an invaluable tool for us and a welcome alternative to self's cumbersome forum format.

I've struggled with my weight since freshman year of college. The freshman 15 turned into the freshman 30. After graduation, I lost it all and then some, started a new job a year later, and gained it all back (and them some). After a few years of feeling like crap about myself for having let it happen again, I found myself living in New York City, desperately needing a serious lifestyle change. I hired a personal trainer at Crunch (bleeech), saw him once a week, and over the course of about 14-16 weeks lost 30 lbs in combination with some disciplined eating habits, cutting out alcohol, sleeping regularly. I felt great, vowed to myself NEVER to put myself in the position where I would have to lose 30+ lbs ever again.

Flash forward to 2 and a half years later and triumph has turned to defeat. I found my boyfriend had cheated on me the entire time we'd been together (what a mistake he turned out to be), I switched jobs, and overall found myself in the deepest depression I'd ever experienced in my life. The weight I'd lost came back with a vengeance and brought friends. And relatives. And I find myself in the place I'd promised myself I'd never be--having yet again to lose a serious amount of weight. Nearly 25% of my current body weight.

Over the past few months I've beaten myself up, fixated on how much time I'd wasted on a boyfriend I had mistaken for a partner, pitied myself for having been a victim of his lies, and fed my insecurities about being heavy in an industry that glorifies the thinnest of the thin, no doubt it's affected my performance in a career which has up til now been impeccable. In short, I needed to make some serious changes. So time for the proverbial picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again.

The one thing I feel guilty about is having waited til now to do something about it all. I wish I'd started my new years resolutions immediately after new years. Instead, I wallowed about in self pity for an additional 2 and a half months before getting up off my fat depressed ass. The consequence--I need not to look like a hot mess for my best friend's wedding. That's the LEAST I can do for my best friend in the whole world. The one person who's supported me through the most precarious 6 months of my life. I just will not allow myself to show up at the BFF's wedding looking like I just inhaled a 3 tier wedding cake. D-Day is Memorial Day so I have until then to really turn things around, get motivated, back into discipline mode, and drill into my brain that this is lifestyle change and THAT is the challenge.

My Goals:
1. 50 lbs weight loss
2. Increased cardiovascular health
3. Increased flexibility
4. Better endurance
5. Strengthen core (weak back, *chronic* back pain)
6. Overall better fitness
7. Lifestyle change--this is never happening again.

Like a couple of you have mentioned, I've also been taking advantage of Fit TV and ExerciseTV on demand. So far I'm loving All Star Workouts-Jennifer Galardi's Ballet workout and Aubre's Belly Dance workouts have been fantastic. (Sadly, I'm so unfit that it doesn't take much movement to shoot my heart rate up into target fat burning range.) Gilad has some great workouts but I find him *incredibly irritating.* Off of Exercise TV OD, I've been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred level 1 and her biggest loser circuit training in addition to a few of the ab workouts in the abs section. I've also vowed that if I sit down to watch an hour of TV, I'll get up off my butt and march in place, or ab work, or leg lifts--any kind of movement so that I'm not vegetating on the couch like a caged veal.

A few notes about future posts: I like to swear. A lot. Since at this point we're all still strangers, I'll try to tone it down. But if a few curses slip out, don't be offended. (ie. 'that f*cking treadmill!!) Also, I'm not a fan of the shift button. Introductory post n all, I've tried my best, but after this, it's no caps!

Well, Good Luck ladies! (I'm assuming we're all ladies, but if that's a mistake, please speak up.) I look forward to spending the next several months with you and sharing our successes and challenges with one another!